Happiness is... making time for what matters

Many a time, amidst our busy schedules and never ending errands on our to-do list, we find ourselves saying "No time", "我没有空‘’， "I can't do this now", "Sorry I can't be with you, my love" and so on. It's almost too easy to use a lack of time as a reason, or in some cases, an excuse.

I get it, you know. 24 hours a day is really limited and I wish some days are longer too because I seriously can't finish what I wanna do within a short day itself. But then again, we also find ourselves scrolling through social media mindlessly, we still watch dramas on Netflix or on our mobiles, we still have time to watch or read news, we take long showers and keep ourselves in the toilet for a long time just to enjoy more me-time and be cut off from the rest of the world momentarily. So then, is time honestly inadequate or is it just that we have priorities in life and when something seems not as important to us, we use some feeble excuse to dismiss it and justify to ourselves that we have more urgent things to do?

Well, that is just how I feel sometimes and now that the kids are fast growing up, I find it even more important to put away all things on my list just so I can spend more time with them. Once they grow up, it's harder to go on family outings, vacations or even have meals together because they are gonna build their own social circles and get busy with school, friends and everything else in their teenhood - like how we used to back in the days too, remember?

In this post of "Happiness is...", it's about making time for what truly matters in life and also learning to let go.

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I used to emphasise a lot on togetherness - actually I still do - and it would irk me when one of the kids threw a tantrum or just started saying things like "I want to stay home" or "I don't wanna go out with you all". This is especially so if the event had been pre-arranged and I had told them in advance, and worse if it was a media invite and I had already committed to the client on the number of pax. 

But over the last couple of years, I've slowly learnt to accept the fact that sometimes, it's okay to leave one or two kids out if they are really not in the mood to head out. Also, due to the fact that my kids vary in age, I have to understand that their likes and dislikes can and will differ greatly especially since they are in different phases of life. I mean, I have a teenager who is turning 15 and a 3yo toddler, how can they like the same thing, right?

In addition, the elder ones are generally busier with school life, CCAs and other after school activities. So while I still can hang out with the younger ones and they still love me to bring them out for play, let's do it! Part of what I love about being a SAHM is that my weekday afternoons are always dedicated to my kids and spent bonding with them.

We love going to Changi Airport and while the girls stayed back in school, I brought the two boys with me for an event and we took pretty photos, played mini golf, ate Thai food, went to the playground and arcade before calling it a day. I had to order takeaway for the girls but I think they were happy to have some alone or sisterly time without me hovering around them or the brothers making a din at home.

This little one will be turning four next year and I deeply cherish these few years while he is still a toddler and a preschooler before he goes to primary school. That is why I am very happy and contented to have him attend merely three hours of nursery each day so that we can still spend the rest of the day together. Yes, that means very little me-time for me but it's just for the time being before he grows up so there's really nothing to regret or complain about, the way I see it.

I also love going on school excursions with him while I still get the chance to. I miss doing this with the three older ones and guess what, it's the kind of thing that once it's gone, the opportunity never returns again. Because our kids grow and much as we hope they might remain tiny so we can cuddle and kiss them more, the truth is they outgrow our arms and laps faster than we'd like.

So Ansel and I made a trip to Bollywood farm with his school mates and besides going on a farm tour to learn more about some species of trees, we also planted a pandan plant together.

He was all smiles the whole morning and it felt so good to be able to sit beside him on the bus, holding his little hand in mine. On our way back, he was exhausted and fell asleep with his head resting on my lap. These are the little, happy moments I live for as a mum and I count my blessings for such simple joy that fill up my heart.

The hubby, who is in the navy, works very hard to bring home the bacon and since he is not around on most days, I am thankful to get the opportunity to stay home because having one parent as the caretaker, in my view, makes a difference to the kids especially in their growing up years.

That said, despite his hectic schedule, he still reserves some time for us on weekends. The kids are happy whenever he can take us out because it means we will drive and go to further places. Plus, he is usually the chef, for instance when we went mookata, he cooks for us while I feed the youngest and the rest just indulge and feast. Haha.

We also made time for a family stayover at Changi Experience Studio, which is something that the kids always look forward to because it means there would be lots of activities to play, we could stay up till late at night and enjoy the camping experience in a real tent.

Not only that, the kids also got to go on a flight simulator experience and we had lots of fun in Canopy Park. You know, kids are actually very simple-minded and if parents could just slow down and engage in games like playing tag or hide and seek with them, they don't really need fanciful toys or electronic gadgets to keep them occupied. All they need is our time and attention.

I still absolutely enjoy our mum-and-kids outings and now that the mid-year holidays is fast approaching, it also means there are lots of fun activities islandwide for us to check out. We visited Gardens By The Bay and had fun at the Inside Out 2 themed station activities, even though they were a little kiddy for the two Jiejies, it was nice to see them willing to accompany the brothers, like how they pushed them on the swings.

The zoo is a place we can never get tired of and we cherish every opportunity that we get to visit and see the animals up close. This time, we joined in for a fun Zoolympix event and the kids had fun hopping like kangaroos, hanging like orangutans and running like cheetahs. It was nice to see all the kids having fun and the elder ones would try to compete against each other too - they even had their names up on the leaderboard of the day for the fastest timings, well done, kiddos!

I am immensely grateful to Skechers for sponsoring our footwear for so many years and we are loyal to the brand too because we do love their comfort and all of us wear our shoes out nearly every day. Yup, don't give me stilettos, heels or wedges - all I need is a good pair of sports shoes and I will be very happy. Remember how I said I am determined to exercise more starting this year? Yup, that means my Skechers shoes will be my companion and source of motivation too!

Big thanks to the hubby and kids for willing to take photos too - I mean, you do get 'free' shoes while I do the work like writing, editing pics and uploading onto social media, right? Still, I'm not sure for how long more we will get any sort of sponsorship because there are so many mums out there now who are more active, get tenfold more likes and have more clout than me.

After being a blogger for 15 years, I'm a bit jaded already and if I do keep writing and posting, it's mainly for my own memories and for my kids to reminisce in future instead of wanting to get more sponsorship. I guess that is also why you come back to read my posts, right? Because I try to keep it real, write from the heart and share earnestly about the ups and downs of my motherhood journey.

We also managed to squeeze in a 3D2N staycation this month and where else but Wild Wild Wet! I have said this before but to repeat again, it is likely the most economical staycay we can find and as NTUC members, we get four daily, complimentary tickets to Wild Wild Wet which makes the stay really worthwhile. 

There was this long water obstacle course set up in Wild Wild Wet and we had fun racing each other from start to end. The kids were so much faster than I but hey, at least I tried to overcome every obstacle, right? It was also nice holding Ansel's hand and going at a leisurely pace and while it was challenging trying to push him up the slopes, let's just take it as a good workout. We also had family meals together with the hubby who made time to join us, had a BBQ with our friends, went late night cycling, scooting and running at the beach and watched a late night movie too. Such precious memories!

May marks the hubby's birthday and we had a simple celebration for him at home. Being who he is, whom in many aspects mirrors my values and preferences, he would rather have a cheap, kopitiam dinner than to splurge on a hotel buffet. So we usually keep the celebration simple but having a cake cutting ceremony with the family and getting handmade birthday cards from the kids made the occasion special and memorable.

I also took time off on a weekend afternoon to catch up with my Jiemeis and celebrated one of their birthdays too. It's always nice to meet up sans kids because it means we can talk about anything under the sun without the fear of judgement since we've known each other for nearly three decades already. Yes, I might not spend as much time on friends than I do with family but these girls mean a lot to me and friendship is still very important to me too.

Back at home, we still deal with tantrums, outbursts, bickers and occasional fun adventures like how the kids worked together to catch this giant cockroach. Yup, these two are braver than me when it comes to bugs, especially big ones, so I usually leave the task to them.

We also bought this 500-piece jigsaw puzzle and the three older kids solved it together as a team in half a day. It was nice to see the big girl taking time off from her devices and for them to spend some bonding time together. Check out the end product, pretty cool, right?

It's been harder but we still make it a point to dance and exercise together every few days. It usually means we have to pack up the messy living room to make space but I think it is worthwhile as these are the fun moments they will remember when they are older.

The sweet darling of mine surprises me every day, sometimes it's the words that he suddenly says, sometimes it's his sweet gestures, funny antics or simply how he can fall asleep anytime anywhere.

Oh, May also marks Mother's Day which means we came together with the extended family to celebrate. Having a BBQ might sound simple but it takes a lot of effort as the hubby and my fil always prepare and buy everything on their own, and it's not something we take for granted. So thank you for making our family BBQs so awesome!

The kids became mini chefs as they made mini donuts and fried rice. It was so fun and cute to watch and the most important thing was that they enjoyed the session and loved the yummy food they made themselves.

We still love watching movies in the cinema and it's something that bonds us and make us look forward to. This month, we watched Garfield and it was so much more heartwarming and poignant than I expected, the part about kinship and family ties always gets to me and makes me tear. I sincerely hope that we will still meet up for movie nights in future every once in a while, even when the kids are all grown up already. Well, one can always dream and hope for the best, right?

That marks the end of May and it also means we've stepped into the mid-year hols. We don't plan to travel since it is PSLE year for the secondborn and also because we have already made plans for the year end to travel with our parents. Still, you bet we will not be staying at home much durng the hols, till the next post on that, yeah?

For now, I hope we are all making time for the things and people who truly matter to us for life is too short for us to waste any bit of it. Remember to make more lasting memories, tell your loved ones how much you care and spend some time to love yourself too, yeah?