Together with you - Ansel is 1 month old!

I know, it's been wayyyy too long since I did a growing up video of any of the kids. I had initially planned to do videos for them till they are all grown up but because each video takes me weeks, if not months, to compile and given how little free time I have, I am seriously lagging behind and wondering if I will ever be able to finish what I had set out to do.

The thing is, the kids love watching these videos so much and now that we have baby Ansel, it wouldn't be fair if he doesn't get such videos like how his siblings did in the first few years of their lives, right? So even if I have to sacrifice precious sleep and rest time (wait, what rest is there when you have a newborn and three other kids to care for, haha) , I will nonetheless find a way to do up his videos. When there's a will, there's a way, and I hope I can keep finding different ways to accomplish this dream of mine.

Here's the first one for dearest Ansel and a heartfelt letter to his precious darling of mine.

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Dear Ansel,

Welcome to this beautiful world! You are my brave little fighter and even though you came out five weeks earlier than your EDD, you are a healthy and strong baby. I can't even describe how happy and relieved I felt the moment I laid eyes on you and knew that you were safe and sound. You are my darling, my gem, my miracle and I love you so, so much.

It must have been tough on you having to fight jaundice for so long and having to undergo phototherapy too. I missed you so much whenever the nurses took you away from me in the hospital and after we got discharged, they required you to go back again because your jaundice level was still high. I bawled my eyes out when they said there was no bed available for me and I had to leave you at the nursery. Thankfully, we found a way out by renting the phototherapy machine and doing it ourselves at home. You were so good and obedient and stayed inside for over 20 hours in total, only whining when you wanted me to carry you, when you pooped or when you wanted milk.

Talking about milk, we had trouble initially because you couldn't latch well, remember? You had a tongue tie at birth and I'm not sure if that was the cause but we did bring you to do the snipping when you were two weeks old. It was traumatic seeing you bleed from the mouth and hearing your loud wails, and I wish there was something I could do for you other than hold you close and tell you I love you. The good thing is you love drinking from the bottle and would drink till the very last drop, even if it's more than what you need. That gives me the motivation to keep pumping because at the very least, I know you love drinking my milk. Hehe. Hopefully, you will soon master your latching so we can enjoy this beautiful breastfeeding journey together, okay? For now, your siblings are just too happy to take turns to feed you using the bottle.

Oh yeah, siblings, you have not one, not two but three of them! Your elder sisters and brother love you to the moon and back and they dote on you so, so much. You are like the most precious thing to them these days and they just want to hold you, kiss you, hug you and be close to you. It's nice having them around to help me look after you too because you don't like to be lonely and would be happier if you are in their arms.

For your full month celebration, we had a popiah party and invited our family members over. Yes, you are very loved by all of them and everyone couldn't wait to carry you. Papa even bought a cake for you so we could sing "Happy Full Month" to you, haha. See the video when you are older, yeah? These are such precious memories that I hold close to my heart. I also made a collage to remember your first 30 days too because I know you are going to grow up faster than I realise and this newborn phase is something I treasure very much.

Although it's only been a month since you came, it seems like this was meant to be and you have been a part of us for a long time. I am so thankful that you are here by my side now and with every beat of my heart, I feel blessed to have you in my life. Thank you for being who you are and for making our lives messier but merrier, busier but better, more hectic but a hundred times happier too. I love you so much, my dear.

Love,
Mama