The special thing about daughters #2 - The female instinct

I vividly remember when I was pregnant with Angel, I told my friends it was going to be a girl. A few of them gave comments like "It's good to have a girl first!", "Next time she can help you to look after her siblings" and "It's better to have a big sister and then a younger brother, rather than the other way round".

Of course, the younger brother never came and instead, I gave to Angel what I think would be one of the best gifts in her life - a SISTER.

It is probably not fair for me to judge on the differences between a big sister and a big brother since I didn't raise any boys and see them mature from a baby to toddler to preschooler. So, I'm just going to tell you about what I do know about my 4-year-old girl, who in my view, is one of the best big sisters ever. In fact, she makes me secretly wish that I have a sister too!



You might call it a female instinct or a sister instinct, or you can say I am biased, but I do feel that some girls are just born with it. The desire, the intuition, the natural tendency to look after, to nurture, to care for and to love the people around them.

Here are some of the little things that Angel does for her little sister.

1) She gives the little sister a kiss every day when we send her to school. Even when Ariel rejects or turns away, she still kisses her lightly on the back of her head and says "Byebye, meimei".

2) Whenever we go out, she lets go of my hand and says "I want to hold meimei's hand". The thing is, Ariel is sometimes choosy or tries to be independent, so it really depends on her mood whether or not she wants to hold on to the big sister. When Angel is rejected, she comes up to me with a forlorn look and says "Meimei doesn't want me..." But the next day, she tries again.

3) She helps to entertain Ariel so that I can cook dinner in peace. Sometimes, they can be alone for up to half an hour and I hear them laughing, chortling and squealing so much that I can't help but peek into the room with a spatula in my hand. More often than not, I know the baby is in good hands and I walk away with a smile on my face.

4) She tries to help the little one put on her shoes whenever we step out of the house and says "Come, meimei, sit. Jiejie help you wear shoe". Sometimes she does it with much difficulty, sometimes she turns to me for help. But at least she tries, right?

5) On some days, I leave the baby at home when she naps while I fetch Angel from school, which is less than a five-min walk away. She sees me alone and asks "Where's meimei?" and when she knows Ariel is home sleeping, she says "Let's hurry up and go home. If not, later bad guys come and take meimei away."

6) Every night, they drink milk together side by side and nowadays, they just like to hold up their bottles, do a toast with each other and shout "Cheers!". 以奶代酒，干杯!

7) It is not surprising that many strangers like to come up to Ariel to talk to her, hold her fingers or wave byebye to her. Whenever someone comes up close, Angel will put a hand around her and say "This is my meimei". I'm not sure if she is showing her way of protecting the little sister and being scared that anyone would take her away, or if she is just being happy and proud to be the big sister. In any case, it sure is sweet to see her being bold enough to step up.

8) The girls like to play in the tub together and as if playing with bath toys, splashing around and pretending to swim is not fun enough, these two also like to put shower foam and rub each other clean. A bit too intimate? I think it's sweet.

Wait, before you think these two sound like the perfect pair of loving sisters, of course, there are also the hair-pulling, toy-snatching and even finger-biting moments. But, that is normal, right? It would be weird if they never ever snatched toys, fought over a sticker or screamed at each other. Nonetheless, considering how they are sweet and harmonious 90% of the time, I think I can jolly well deal with the other uproarious and unruly 10%. Yeah yeah, wait till they grow a bit older, I hear you.

To see them get along as sisters and grow up to be best friends, that is one of the reasons why I choose to be a stay-at-home mum and let them spend much of their childhood together.

On the topic of female instinct, just the other day, we were in the car and Ariel was playing with a doll which came with this tiny milk bottle that you could pretend to feed the doll with and see the milk level decreasing. I found it rather fascinating but what fascinated me the most was when I said to Ariel "See? Baby is hungry. Can you give her milk milk please?"

She took the doll in one hand, the milk bottle in another, but her first reaction was to hold the doll close, let it lie across her chest and well, try to nurse the baby. Yes, I do mean breastfeed. I had seen Angel do it when she was two or three years old, but this girl, at 14 months, she could do things like this every now and then that somehow have the power to surprise me, make me laugh and warm my heart so deep and so real.

When she looked up at me and gave me that contented look and boisterous laugh, I just had to remind myself for the umpteenth time on just how lucky I am to have a daughter like her.

I told the husband who was driving about what Ariel did to the doll but he did not seem too interested or amused. Instead, Angel turned around with a big smile on her face and said "Meimei, feed baby milk milk, I wanna see! Again, again!"

You see, some things in life, the boys don't get it but the girls, we just do.