You Are The Reason - Ansel is 3 months old

It hasn't been easy finding time to do these growing up videos but I'm still quite determined to do them for baby Ansel, even if it means I have to stay up on many nights. These are too precious to me and I know when my kids grow up, each of these videos will bring a smile, and maybe a tear or two, onto my face as I reminisce the times when they were still so tiny and needed me by their side every day.

Here are some fond moments from Ansel's third month of growing up. See how he tried his best during tummy time, how he melts our hearts with his beautiful smiles, how he is now enjoying his baths, how the siblings love him to the moon and back and just how lucky we are to have him in our family.

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Dear Ansel,

Even though it still feels like yesterday when you burst my water bag and made your way out hastily into this world, in the blink of an eye, you have turned three months old. It's been such a lovely month with you and I think Mama is now very used to having four kids in the house. You made our lives so much better and happier, do you know that? I didn't think you would bring about such a huge difference but you have and we simply can't imagine life without you now. 

You have perfected your latch these days and that is such good news and a huge relief for me. This means that Mama doesn't have to go through the hassle and time-consuming process of pumping out milk for you - unless I want to let your siblings feed you - and we can always have our one-on-one time whenever you are hungry. I love the feeling of breastfeeding you and how you would gaze into my eyes and grip my finger, and I hope we can do this for years to come, okay?

We have also been working on your tummy time and you are getting stronger each time, right? I know it is tiring because sometimes you will just lie flat on the mat and start crying. Your siblings will then rush up, lie down beside you and cheer for you, which is such a sweet sight to see. When that happens, it makes you try a little harder and we can all see your effort in lifting your head up high. 加油 and I am sure you'll get better and strong soon!

These days, you've been smiling so much and it makes all of us smile too. We love hearing your goo goo ga gas but it hasn't been easy trying to catch it on video because every time you see me taking the phone, your eyes become big, you get curious but then you stop making sounds altogether. Haha. Guess it's your way of telling Mama to just use my heart to feel and capture that moment rather than wanting to film it down.

Now that you are over 5kg, the small purple tub we got from the hospital has also become too tiny for you. That means you have been promoted to the big tub - which is the bathtub that your sisters and brother used when they were babies too. How awesome is it that all four of you used the same tub, right? You love it because it gives you more room to kick and you enjoy being in the water very much nowadays. I love singing to you and looking into your eyes, it makes me realise even though it might be tiring for my back, being able to bathe you every day is an absolute blessing.

At night, you sleep right beside me and that feels so amazing, you know? I have you on one side and your big brother on the other - yup, I'm so loved to be surrounded by my boys. Your siblings would hug and kiss you so many times every night, it's like they are so reluctant to say goodbye to you and not see you for eight hours. Yes, they definitely dote on you more than you know. I am the lucky one to be with you every time you wake up and ask for milk, haha. You have been so good to me and you are sleeping for 3-4 hours in a stretch, which is more than I can ask for. I actually enjoy waking up in the middle of the night to feed you because it's like we are in our own world while the rest of the household is sleeping. Just you and me. 

You have also been joining us on our weekend family trips to nature parks and you are always snug on my chest in our Tula carrier. It seems like you have inherited our love for gai gai and you sleep so well when we are out. Even though my shoulders get tired, I still want to be the one to carry you as we explore, get close to nature and appreciate all the flora and fauna around us. It won't be long before you start walking on your own - I know that from the experience of seeing your siblings grow up - so while I still can, I wanna hold you for as long as I can.

Thank you for being who you are and for bringing so much joy and sunshine into our lives. I love you so, so much, my baby boy. Happy 3 months old!

Love, Mama